Syrenne's Words of Wisdom
by ShiverIntheLight
Summary: Syrenne has some words for you in her drunken haze. Listen to her well, for you may actually learn something from her. :)


Syrenne's Words of Wisdom

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Last Story characters. Syrenne is OOC (Maybe…) in this story. However it is fun to write her in this aspect. The perspective is in the reader's (As if you are actually listening to her) and Syrenne loves to change the subject a lot. You'll see what I mean in about ten seconds. Please enjoy the story though. :D**

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Everyone thinks that I am a big juggernaut when it comes to drinking. Honestly, I could hold my booze down longer than an Irish man can and still have the stomach for more. Never doubt the powers of a good long alcoholic streak. Zael, Lowell, Dagran, Calista, Mirania, and Yurick are all jealous. Don't listen to their petty squabbles as they stay sober, boringly sober. Boohoo! I'm actually crying of pity for them.

By the way, what does it mean to be sober? Lowell tells me that I wouldn't survive a breath being sober or even be able to live… Ignorant pain in the arse… Perhaps he would like to feel my foot kicking him over the banister again…

Where was I? Oh yes, the wonders of booze! Remember people to always have a toast every second and don't let that alcohol run away from you. Boy do I feel loopy today…

Drinking makes me feel like a real woman! That no one can ever understand. (As if I wanted them to anyway. Hahahaha! Hah!) They are all losers and low-lives, just living life without the alcohol of justice running through the bloodstream. Nobody understands! Nobody knows what it is like to just loosen up and see the white light around every object. Seriously! There is! I want you to intoxicate yourself one day and see that we are all walking in a scrap of Heaven. White light exists!

I'm rambling, aren't I? Good, and I don't care if I'm talking your ear off. I don't give a rat's arse. Oh…my glass is empty….

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Sorry about that. Just had a thorough talking to with Ariela about my next glass of drink…*sigh* seems as though I have drunken the tavern dry once again… Damnit! ZAEL! GO FETCH ME MORE BOOZE BEFORE I BUST A WALL UP! Why must he be so laggard with everything he does? Ever since he met Calista he's been so disorderly. IT PISSES ME OFF HOW SLOW YOU ARE ZAEL! Wait…what Ariela? He already went out to get more booze? Yes! I am so happy now!

I dare you to call me knocked up or bipolar. I tripley doubley dare you! Nah…don't bother…I don't speak while under my booze haze… UGH! You know…I just can't wait anymore… I may explode!

Have I ever told you a strange story that Dagran once told me? Well, I am going to tell you and don't you dare whimper in pain.

Dagran one time told me this story that I only find funny if I haven't had a drink in seven hours. He even said that as well…darn mutant…. Well anyway, he told me that one time he has been walking about Lauzlis City and he overheard some guards talking about manly things, and I seriously mean it. Manly. Things.

Well, Dagran comes over to them and he says… Wait…is that Zael coming into the tavern? It IS! I am just so excited right now I could scream like a four-year old child! Come hither handsome boy and give me the first sampling of the liquor. (Because Zael always looks handsome when I drink)

Ah, Yes! Now this party can be started! What do you want Lowell? Who am I talking to?! Are you blind?

Don't mind Lowell…he's just a little loopy up here and don't you dare compare him to me!

It's not my fault that booze has been my only friend since my pet rat died! Psh, please! Anyway, as I was saying…wait…my glass is *burp* empty again. Gotta get another refill.

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I'm…*hic* back, and what a glorious day today is my friend, is it not? Huh? You think I have had too much drink now? Screw you! Don't become like Yurick over there, always miserable and talking to the walls.

I wonder if poor Yorick over there ever had a true love…or was even in love. Lowell told me that Yurick one time was in love with a rock… How should I know? I'm the one who acts first and listens later and you're asking me if that's true or not? Pah! Who cares anyway? I don't suppose you like the poor sap over there now, do you?

Ah! To drink and have a good *hiccup* time! Hey, stop laughing at me Zael you sober freak! I am not going to knock myself out cold like last time! How could you even come up with that *burp* conclusion?! Yay Alcohol! Now I'm drunk! Whooohoo!

Look, if you want to get around in life you have to drink hard booze, and drink lots of it.

I will not become a booze-up, Dagran! Shut up! I'm just having fun walking, I mean talking with my friend here. People just don't under*hic*stand why I love to drink. It is not an infection and it's certainly not a sickness, why I could tell you all other amazing wonders of alcohol…without even being sober!

And no, that is not a challenge Lowell! You can't say anything for being a stick-in-the*hic*mud for not having a mug of booze all night. I'm mad at you now! (Annoying burr in my side…)

So, you want to know about why Alcohol is so special to me, eh? Well, I'll tell you why. Because Alcohol, not diamonds or chocolate, is a woman's best friend. Hands down, truth up. Don't look at me as if I'm smashed, which I may be, I am speaking from the heart here. Or as Dagran likes to say, the heart of the pit of my beer belly (Which I absolutely do not have at all!)

*Hiccup* I could do this all night if I could! What's that? I look ready to collapse to the floor? Nonsense! Don't get all sentimental and dramatic. Ask Lowell and Mirania, they know I can drink at least sixty-eight mugs of booze. I am only getting started here with eighty-nine of them!

What was that, Ariela? You saying that the tavern is going to be closing in seven minutes?! What a stinking pain in my arse…why can't this tavern stay open all night just like the others do?!

Now you are saying my eyes are closing? What are you, my mother-in-law? *hic* *hiccup* Ugh…now I think I will just rest my head down on the table for a moment…lots of people do that, right?… Uhhhmmm… *clunk*

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**A/N: Lowell: Syrenne broke her mental record of how many mugs of booze she can chug down that massive sized gullet of hers. What a darn shame…**

**Zael: Never thought she had it in her….**

**Yurick: I do not talk to walls!**

**Ariela: Poor woman…can someone help carrying her upstairs?**

**Mirania: *Shaking head, sighing***

**A/N 2: And so Syrenne had gotten so drunk she collapsed into a boozed-up unconsciousness right smack on the table. I hope you enjoyed my first fanfic in the Last Story universe! :D**


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